Time to reset the clock

Well, it looks like it's time to reset the clock. Rather than this being my blog about how my life is getting back to normal one year (and counting) on from the start of my chemo adventure, I'm about to start chemo again!!! Can't believe I've got to go through it all again!!!

There appears to be a secondary tumour on my liver so I've got to get that sorted and hope that there will not be any more metasticies (sp?). These 12 weeks of chemo will be pre op and then it's a case of having the same again post op!!! It's the same drugs as last time so at least I know what I'm in for. But oh god, I know what I'm in for!!! Not sure how I can get through this again but I am really really hoping to do it differently this time!

This time I am really going to try to keep more active as well as eat more healthily. I think that piling on more weight will not help me at all. I need to try and get through all this as best I can - I can't spend another 9 months like I did last time.

I am getting a PIC line this time so the challenge is going to be not fucking that up and having to get it repeatedly redone but the luck I have with my veins, that's what I'm dreading at the moment. I'm also not looking forward to loosing my independence again. When will my life be my own again???!!! I just can't see the silver lining this time around. Maybe I'll just have to be satisfied with finally getting around to watching the Lost box set!!

Anyway, mustn't grumble and have to keep the positive attitude going.

Signing off,

Here we go again!!! Xxxxx

The sequel

Well, if they could make a movie of my cancer adventure, I think they'd need to make sure they had enough of a budget to make a sequel!!! Looks like we could be about to start the ride again!!! Had a CT last week and it turns out there was something there that maybe shouldn't be! Oh joy! Anyway, I'm seeing my oncologist on Wednesday to discuss what's going to happen next, so we'll see ....


Oh and if they were going to make a movie of my adventures, can I have Hulk Hogan to play me!! ;-)

Take care world!

Xxxx

one year on

Well, I can't believe that it is now a year and a week since I started on my chemo journey. I had meant to write this blog during that journey but it wasn't meant to be - I ended up with so little energy that I couldn't even read a book, which is saying something about me! 


Then, this was going to be a blog about how great things are one year on, but that is not turning out quite as planned either. Yes, I am back at work full time and putting in my hours but apart from that I am falling back into my pre diagnosis rut. Last year I was full of hope about what I need to do to make the most of my life, but nothing is getting done. I have a holiday booked in the summer with my friends but I am not sure how that is going to go - how am I going to feel comfortable sitting around a pool for a week, with having put on so much weight in the last 18 months??!! I've at least got to face up to the fact that it wasn't the steroids that did this to me and accept that it was me that did this to me!! 


I've signed up for the gym again and to the BMF classes, but haven't done either since November! I have to find that motivation again and get off my but!! 


Right, time to do something with my day and then try and do something with the next day and the next 


bye for now